Friday, May 29, 2009

A Life Enema, Try It You'll Like It!

A Life Enema is the procedure used to cleanse oneself of users, abusers and just plain losers. 

In the last couple of years I have been following this procedure religiously and I am now a believer. It isn't the easiest thing to get started on, because your emotional constipation and the cancers in your life will do whatever they can to discourage you. Separately but in addition to this fact, you will even experience fear in administering the Life Enema as it will feel unnatural at first but rest assured that this is normal and soon will pass. Along with the passing of this fear, you will begin to reject people and their bullshit-the kinds of people and bullshit you have sadly grown accustomed to that have only ever manage to detract from the quality of your life by rotting away your spirit from your insides out leaving you feeling weighed down and hopelessly gloomy. If you find yourself needing to take regular naps to cope with your days, or down a glass of wine after work to be able to continue to put up with others around you, or instead pop a couple pills just to have the emotional stamina to get by, stop and do yourself a favour. Begin your Life Enema today.  I am not just the spokes person for Life Enema, I am a 100% satisfied user. 

Some quick and easy steps to follow to get you started on the path to freedom:
1- Unlike a regular enema it is not necessary to assume the left side position. In fact, the position you should assume is the one you are clearly most comfortable with, which to date has resulted in you taking it up the ass. The goal in this step is to begin to identify when you are in this position and exactly when and how people and their bullshit are able to be shoved up your ass. 

2- Once you are able to identify when your so called "friends," "family members" or "acquaintances" are about to engage in a behaviour where they benefit and consequently you don't, it's time to begin the process of elimination as I like to call it. This is where things can begin to get a little messy.

3- Eliminating toxins from our lives requires that we recognize them first and flush them next. Stay hydrated or in other words surround yourself with loving and supportive people. Hydration can make or break this process of elimination and so stay focused on this through out. 

4- Once you are feeling "hydrated," discontinue nurturing your toxic parasites. Deprive your users, abusers and losers of the pay offs they desire and have required of you. Stop paying for them, stop tolerating their inappropriate behaviours, stop lowering the bar to meet their substandard treatment of you. You don't owe these people anything. You aren't responsible for their behaviours and quit fooling yourself because you can't change them. The only thing you can change is your reaction to them, which is exactly what a Life Enema is all about. A change for the better. 

5- If deprivation of pay off isn't enough to cause these people to find a new more accommodating host, it is necessary for phase two of the cleanse. Expect that the more you have been taking it up the ass for a person the more they have a vested interest in hanging on for dear life. These people will require a more drastic round of elimination.

6- For those especially committed parasites, it is necessary to establish a firm boundary and NOT reply under any circumstances to their pathetic attempts and pleas to stay implanted inside of you sucking the very life force from your being. 

7- As difficult and messy as a Life Enema may seem, know that it gets worse before it gets better. It is only a matter of time before the cleanse you are embarking on will begin to have profound positive effects on your life. 

8- Know that after each flush of a user, abuser or looser it is perfectly normal to feel a void, nauseous or a serious desire to re-engage and reassume that which you have grown accustomed to and or familiar with. These feelings are temporary and will pass, only to be followed by a true sense of relief and freedom. So remain strong and avoid the temptation to capitulate. 

9- It is important to rest and keep hydrated (surround one self with positive relationships) for as long as possible in order to assure the best results from your Life Enema. 

10- After a successful completion and cleanse with a Life Enema, each one that follows will be much easier. Rest and repeat as often as necessary. Stop use and seek therapeutic help if you begin to dehydrate or crack in the process of a Life Enema. Life Enemas are guaranteed to prolong the length and quality of your life and provide you with that true sense of freedom you deserve. 

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